Thursday, April 3, 2014


Sometimes it is a BAD thing.

I am sitting at my computer doing some reports for LWB.  Of course that means many cute orphan faces.  Too much for a momma's heart to handle.  It really breaks me into little pieces just about every time I sit down to get work done.  It doesn't help when little Evie walks over and asks if she can have this one (a cute baby 2.5 year old girl with a cleft palate and some developmental delays)  I told her to ask her dad. am I mean or what??

Last night as I was holding sweet Evie wiping away her tears.  Tears of pain and loss HUGE grieving sobs that lasted for what seemed like hours though only really about 45 minutes.  I said DONE I am DONE our family is complete DONE DONE DONE.  This hurts! at the same time I feel blessed to be the momma who walks her through this.  CRAZY!

When my girl feels so sad.  I look at her and feel so much love for her.  I wonder if she feels the love I have for her.  I wonder if she has a teeny tiny clue as to what love feels like?  Has she ever felt true unconditional love?  Does she know we love her?  or  Does she even know what love is?

Today as I finish up my reports.  Seeing so many faces that need to feel love.  How will we I ever be done???

1 comment:

Cheri said...

Oh. You're breaking my heart. I can't imagine seeing those faces regularly. I would want to adopt them all. I'd do it again if I could. Hubby just isn't there.

Hope all went well at the docs.