24hrs

It has been 24 hours since this photo was taken. 

We had said all sorts of goodbyes, the kids at the bus stop, neighbors, dogs, teacher, friends . . .

Not our goodbye, we never said goodbye.

The night before, her final night in her bedroom (she slept not in her bed but under the desk)  I held her and we cried, we cried and cried.  It was healthy grieving.  The best part is that she chose, she DID healthy grieving.  

All the arguing, know-it-all behavior and constant supervision melted away.  This girl healed and grew so much in our care.  I didn't know we could be that family for a kid.  

We did not say goodbye because her dad and girlfriend promise to let us still be part of their family.  It will look very different than her living with us.  

I love you sweet A!  

I am weepy.  The weirdest things make me cry.  I am doing my best to walk right through the pain, not around it. 

I am asked why we do this and all I can say other than we are crazy  . . . it is crazy faith.  This is exactly what we are "supposed" to be doing. 

Foster update

Our little foster girl - I call her Little Miss.

We have had this sweet, argumentative, music loving girl for 4 months now.  There was an article in the news paper about the abuse her and her siblings endured.  She is a kid with a significant amount of trauma in her life and significant amount of behaviors that go with the trauma.

Little Miss has been in therapy for several months now.  Today I had a care-giver apt with her therapist.  She pointed out to me how much healing has happened in our Little Miss' life.  Wow!!  Several months ago the therapist asked me why I do this/fostering . . . "I don't know!"  "I guess I feel called"  I really had no real reason except it is what I am supposed to be doing.  It feels clear to me and, hubby said Yes.  Today our lovely therapist reminded me of the "calling" and how I followed my "gut" (other sessions she has reminded me to follow my instincts because they are good)  She went on to say whatever Faith you have is leading you well because Little Miss has done a lot of healing with your love and care.

We are doing hard stuff, really hard stuff but when I hear how much we have impacted Little Miss' life my faith is renewed.

We may be saying goodbye to Little Miss soon.  For a long time I was very ready to say goodbye because I was so "done" and frustrated. Who am I kidding  . . . this is gonna be hard and sad.  I will miss her.  Thankfully goodbye won't be forever but a new chapter and relationship will begin.

Perfectly Beautiful . . . Ten

First Day of School

My first born is a SENIOR!!! How in the hell did this happen?!  

I pray for success, growth, happiness and peace.  I love this kid.  

Sixth Grader

Someone may have "dropped a rose"

8th grader

4th grader, my baby

TEN!

She went and turned 10 years old.  My baby is TEN!!

Party Shenanigans

Cousins